Mother’s Day recognizes the badass moms that have gone through some stuff to achieve that title. There are so many paths to motherhood.
Most moms can vividly recall the birth of every one of their babies. And not just because of the labor or seeing our sweet babe’s little face for the first time (yes, there’s that too), but because many of us seriously questioned the ability to push another human from our bodies. And still, we did it. Whether is was a vaginal birth or a belly birth, we did it. We did what seemed impossible and because of it, we’ve realized there’s very little we can’t do.
Some of us have gone through major surgery or endless rounds of fertility treatments to become a parent. Many of us have experienced the devastation of miscarriage or loss of a little one. And then there are bureaucratic hoops, emotional ups and downs, and anxiously waiting for what feels like forever, while becoming a mom by adoption or surrogacy. And still, you did it. You did what seemed impossible – and because of it, there’s close to nothing you can’t do.
And huge shout out to moms still waiting. You’re doing it. As a hopeful mama, a waiting mama, a mom-to-be, you are a mom.
And then there’s Mother’s Day during a pandemic.
This Mother’s Day looks different than any one we’ve been through. We aren’t going out to eat, playing in the park, or getting pampered with a massage or pedicure (well, a professional one anyway). Instead, mothers everywhere are pulling out their calculators, pencils, and laptops while simultaneously pulling out their hair as we’ve all become homeschool parents overnight. Add the mixture of multiple children or trying to work from home at the same time. Who’s overwhelmed?
And for all of us pregnant, soon-to-be moms wondering what birth and postpartum will look like. We’ve changed our plans for before, during, and after the birth of the new baby, and figuring out how to find support while social distancing with a new little one.
Some of us moms that no clue how we’ll survive – because of low wages, lost wages, lost jobs, or lack of daycares for those who are working “outside the home”.
This pandemic has ravaged bodies, devastated families, and created extreme economic consequences. There are a lot of unknowns and fears. And only one thing is certain: a mom’s job never ends. We do everything we can to fight for our children and our families. And we don’t give up. We’re powerful and courageous and determined.
A Silver Lining
Without minimizing the reality of what’s been going down, moms are made tough. We’ve done tough things and it’s made us strong. And we can do it again. We can social distance. We can teach our kiddos (even if it’s Monopoly for math and a nature walk for science). We can alter plans or reach out to as many programs that are there to support different communities during tough times. We’ll do what seems impossible because that’s what parents have done from the beginning of time. And we can do it together, even if physically apart, with the spirit of unity.
There is a silver lining in all of this. It can be hard to fix our eyes on it because there’s a lot coming at us in many directions.
Take a minute, mama. Center yourself. Breathe. You’ve got this.
This Mother’s Day, try to reflect on silver linings. Have you slowed down? Have you gotten to smoosh little faces next to yours during your workday? Have you learned some great recipes and sat around the table to eat? Has the lack of constant running from one thing to the next brought you closer together? Have you reached out to help a neighbor, or watched the very best of people reach out to you or those around you? Have you sent an actual handwritten letter to a friend? Have you seen or read about the many groups of people coming together to provide food and necessities to those in need, or healthcare workers that have traveled across the country to help people in hard hit areas? Have you reflected on those in your life that are so incredibly precious – and then told them how much they mean to you?
I know silver linings don’t bring back those we’ve lost or ease the suffering of people in pain. But they do spark hope. And hope is in the cry of a baby, kisses of your littles, or the sound of their pitter patter running through your house. It’s in your kiddos coming home from college to stay and talking over morning coffee. Hope is in all those out there fighting for people, caring for people, feeding people, and working together to find solutions to this virus. Hope is alive and well — look for it wherever you go. Hold tight to it and spread it whenever you can.
So, enjoy your kiddos’ amazing amateur massage, pedicure or facial. Eat a home cooked (or delivered) meal around your table, and spend time together (even if that together is over Zoom). Lock those memories in your mind and love those around you fiercely. Because hope lives in all those things this Mother’s Day.
Spread Hope + Be Well + Happy Mother’s Day
And recognize your worth.